It's Not All About You

All people experience loss of one kind or another.  All people deal with it in a different way.  My loss has been huge and my boys loss is equal to or even larger than mine, but that is my opinion. I guess as I write this I begin to see grief as a personal feeling.  All people feel grief but not all people have to deal with their grief every day.
I know that people miss Kevin every day.  I know that going to a family event is not the same because he is not there. I know coming to my house may be difficult because the last time you were here he was here or as you come down the driveway you expect to see him.  I know that is hard for you but not as hard as every day is for us.  I get up every morning and wish he was laying next to me. All day long I move through my day thinking about him. Being good parent and bad parent sucks and after a year of moving through my haze I am now cracking down on the boys more again.  Dealing with a house and all that goes wrong with it is hard. At dinner time his seat across from me is empty and the conversations now revolve around our memories of Kevin.  I sit and watch TV alone,  I go to parties and family events alone, I go to the boys sports, school and scout events alone, I go to bed alone and talk to his empty side of the bed.  The boys would sit and talk to their dad about anything and everything. Matt would have conversations about books, movies, history, science, anything that they could come up with.  He misses that every day. Nate would sit and banter with his dad and work on his sarcasm, sing with him and enjoy playing video games together.  He misses him every day.  Dan would call and ask for his advice, listen to music together, share thoughts and feelings on different topics.  He misses him every day.

So when you say it is too difficult to go to a family event, visit a friend, or call someone, think about the people that deal with that loss every day.  Think about how they are dealing with their grief and existing. Basically suck it up, get over yourself, stop being selfish and be supportive of the ones that bare the pain every day!