How do you prepare to say goodbye to your other half? I just didn't know. The whole thing was so overwhelming. After 2 hours of sleep I start my phone calls. The first call goes to the funeral director who goes over what I need to do today: meet with him, pick out a suit, write Kevin's obituary and think about what Kevin and I had discussed for his funeral when the day came. When the boys get up I am sitting at the table trying to write, what do I say, what do I include. I share with Dan what I have written and it gets the family approval. I now need to decide on a suit, shirt and tie. He always looked so handsome in a suit and I loved seeing him in a blue tie. I honestly don't remember what shirt I put him in, I guess it was not important. I go to the funeral home with the 2 older boys, the twins don't need to be part of this, it is hard enough for them. We make all of the arrangements, one day wake, honor guard because he was a CO, masonic service and pick out an urn because he wanted to be cremated. There we are looking at urns, I do not know what I want. Then it jumps out at me, a simple box with an 8x10 frame, perfect. Check, one thing done and I made it through.
When Kevin's mom passed away we went to Sweeney's Irish Pub to decompress and discuss what needed to be done next. It seemed only fitting that I take Dan and John there for us to remember and honor their father. We discuss what still needs to be done, meet with the priest, select pictures, order flowers and make sure everyone has clothes clothes to wear for the 2 days. I also use this time to plan the gathering after the funeral. A celebration of life at Sweeney's, Kevin's second living room as he called it. My heart is heavy as I go through all of this but I am brave and strong for the boys. I am also very much in shock.
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