I Am Growing

As my life continues down this path I see myself doing many things I never would have done before.  These are things I saw Kevin doing with the boys not me.  These last few month in particular have been trying on my nerves and but eye opening for me. 

The boys turned 16, yes 16 and started driving.  The plan was always that Kevin was going to teach them.  If you ever saw that Subaru commercial where the dad was teaching the twin boys to drive, we always laughed that would be Kevin. No, it was me.  We are surviving the driving thing, the car is in one piece and we are all still talking to one another. What is better than that?

In December I took one of the boys to their first hard rock concert, mosh pit and all. And yes being the "cool" mom, I let him go in.  Kevin would have been in there with him, but not my thing.  My son was just happy I took him.  Thank goodness his wonderful older brother went to help guide him.  That was totally not my kind of music, not my kind of atmosphere, but Kevin would have done it, so I am there to do what he can't.

Yesterday I went to a Dropkick Murphys concert, definitely my kind of music just not my kind of insanity.  The boys were so impressed with mom because a mosh pit broke out right in front of me and I held my own and kept pushing people back in.  The boys were so shocked it took them a while to come stand in front of me as protection.  When it was finished they told me how great it was that I could stand my own ground and not get hurt. 

Through this journey I am learning to stand my own ground, make changes when needed, be the "dad" they need me to be, while still being mom.  I am working on the whole house and yard thing.  That has been difficult while trying to negotiate being mom and dad to 2 teenage boys, who are dealing with girls, sports, high school BS, grades, now thinking about college, working on finishing Eagle Scout, and trying to negotiate doing the right things for themselves.  I am working on finding that balance.  In my opinion the boys are priority and if I say so myself, I am doing a fine job raising 2 amazing men!