It's OK to Share Your Feelings

Recently we hit another milestone, the boys graduated 8th grade and are moving on to high school.  The morning was difficult in our house.  The tension was very high and tempers were flaring.  It doesn't make for a positive start to our day but I totally understood what was happening.

Matt was sitting at the table eating when I came out.  I asked him how he was and he snapped at me.  I told him I was driving his brother in to school and he snapped at me again.  I then asked him what was wrong and his answer, in a not so nice tone, was "NOTHING!" At that point I said to him, "it is OK to be angry", response: "I am not angry."  Sometimes I think kids need to know what you as the adult is feeling so they are comfortable to share their thoughts and feelings. So I said to Matt, "I am sad and it is OK to be sad and mad." His response then was "I am mad dad is not here."

Driving Nate to school he says, "I don't know why Matt is so angry, I just try to be happy everyday."  I then explained to him it is alright to be angry that dad is not here, I am sad.  He sat there in the car next to me, the smile left his face and he became very silent.  Sometimes you just need to be told it is fine to grieve, to be angry, to not be your "normal" self.

When I walked into the auditorium I thought I was fine, I had cried the night before and in the morning. I thought I was done. As I sat down the anger rose in me and the tears started.  I missed having Kevin sitting there with me.  During the ceremony the boys received the Anthony Cola Award.  They started to explain the award and talked about Anthony and I started to cry and then they announced the recipients and I cried more.  I cried for two reasons: one that Kevin was not there to see this and the second was that Anthony was not there for his parents. My heart was breaking for all of us at that moment.

I am comforted knowing the boys have family that love them and care about them. That family is not just blood, it is masonic, corrections, school, scouts and friends.  We are blessed!