They boys are taking high school by storm. They are doing a sport every season, involved in music and Nate is doing the musical. I know he is smiling down on them daily but it is not the same as being here.
As successful as they are, they are still teenagers and give me that daily attitude. Dealing with that on my own is rough, but I am finding my way through it. How do I do it? I stand strong in my convictions. I try not to bend. In my head I hear Kevin's voice say "that is not how you speak to your mother." I don't like to throw at them if your father was here he would say ... That is not fair to them, but at calmer times I do talk about their father's thoughts and feelings. We talk about what their dad's expectations are for them. I feel it is important to keep Kevin a part of their lives.
I talk to Kevin often, in my head, out loud, whatever works. I find it therapeutic because I am talking things out. Does he answer me? Sometimes I think so. I feel an inner strength sometimes when dealing with the boys. I know he is there with me giving me guidance.
The boys and I take one day at a time still. However, I think we have a very strong relationship that helps us get through every day and year.
