As I begin the third year without Kevin I have decided I need to stop just existing, I need to begin to live again. What does that mean? Well for the last two years, existing meant being there for the boys, get them where they need to be and do what needs to be done for them. Living is a whole different thing. As I take a step back and look at my life I realize I am not taking care of the other things in my life that need to be taken care of. I have to start taking care of the house more, the yard, the day to day normal things that need to be done that have not been done. I need to put those expectations back on the boys that were there before that have not been there for the last two years. I need to make sure they help around the house, it is not all about me doing everything. I need to take care of me, exercise, watch what I eat, be more healthy. During the last month the boys have helped me start that process. Matt and Nate have shared a room since they were born, a month and a half ago they decided they wanted separate rooms. We painted rooms and moved furniture. It took a month and a half to complete the whole process but we did it. I painted Matt's room by myself, I had never painted a room in my life. Kevin was the painter, he enjoyed all that, I would do the trim but never the walls. But, the boys wanted their rooms painted so their rooms got painted and they look pretty good too if I say so myself.
I know this will be a slow process but definitely something I need to do not just for me but for the boys too. I love Kevin and will love him forever, I am not moving on but moving forward!
